OPRAH: You were an average mother of two, and then you became a Buddhist nun. What did you read in that article that put you on this path?
PEMA: I became involved in Buddhism in a way that’s very appealing to a lot of people because of the fact that their lives fall apart, and that’s what happened to me. When my second marriage broke up, it just floored me, but I had some kind of fundamental sanity that kept saying, “There’s something very profound in this that will teach you something,” so I started looking for it. The first line of Chögyam Trungpa’s article “Working with Negativity” read, “We all experience negativity—the basic aggression of wanting things to be different than they are.” Everything else was saying, “Look at the positive side,” and this said, “Stay with your experience.” That’s how it started.
OPRAH: Is that what you advise we do when things fall apart—stay with it?
PEMA: Yes. The problem is that we have so little tolerance for uncomfortable feelings. I’m not even talking about unpleasant outer circumstances, but that feeling in your stomach of “I don’t want this to be happening.” You try to escape it in some way, but if somehow you could stay present and touch the rawness of the experience, you can really learn something.
OPRAH: When you tell people to touch the rawness and feel it, what should they do? They’re already feeling pain.
PEMA: Go to your body and connect with the physical sensation. It always feels really bad; it’s usually a tightening in the throat or the heart or the solar plexus. Stay with that and say to yourself, “Millions of people all over the world have this kind of discomfort, fear—I don’t even have to call it anything—this feeling of not wanting things to be this way. This is my link with humanity.” Connect with the idea that this moment is a shared experience all over the world.
Oprah: What happens if you choose not to sit with the feeling?
PEMA: It cuts you off from your compassion and empathy for others. That gives birth to a chain reaction that causes people to self-destruct or strike out and hurt other people. It’s the source of a lot of the pain and destruction that we see in the world today.
OPRAH: So what do you do to stay with it?
PEMA: I think the most straightforward way is to breathe in very deeply and connect with the feeling, and breathe it out on the exhalation. I call it compassionate abiding. It means staying with yourself when, probably for your whole lifetime, you’ve always run away at that point.
OPRAH: For me, that’s getting a bag of chips.
PEMA: Yeah, for a lot of people, it’s eating. But you could go down the list, everything from eating chips to doing some much more destructive things.
OPRAH: I recall you telling a story about Jarvis Jay Masters, an inmate on death row in San Quentin, and how he took a vow for peace. [During a Buddhist ceremony, Masters vowed, “From this day forward I will not harm other people, even if it costs my life.”]
PEMA: I’ve learned a lot from that man in terms of how he puts these words into practice and how it brings him so much empathy for other people.
OPRAH: I loved how Eckhart Tolle redefined the present moment in his book The Power of Now. He said that all the stress and pain in the world is about not being in the now, because it’s not allowing whatever moment you’re in, even if it is a moment of despair, to be that moment; wanting it to be something else is what causes the pain and the suffering.
PEMA: That was the basic teaching of the Buddha. Not only that, but the pain that you’re resisting cuts you off from understanding other people. You could say that meditation is about being receptive rather than resisting. That takes some learning, but if you’re hurting enough, you’ll be highly motivated to do it.
OPRAH: Ultimately, it’s understanding what you conclude in When Things Fall Apart: that we all get so caught up in the goal, but the path itself is the goal.
PEMA: The journey is all there is, really. The future never comes, because it’s always the present moment.
OPRAH: And when you know that, you get to move through the world without as much stress. What would you suggest to those of us who don’t necessarily want to become Buddhists, but who do want to continue toward being as highly evolved as we can be? Meditation?
PEMA: Yes. And to notice when you’re hooked, meaning something has triggered you. You’re biting the hook and about to get swept away and lose being in the now.
OPRAH: What do you do when that happens?
PEMA: Notice it, pause, take three to five deep breaths. Just doing that is a shift. Then you can do something different.
OPRAH: That is beautiful because what you said is true—the moment you realize whatever it is that triggers you or hooks you, in taking those deep breaths, you change your vibrational frequency and allow for the possibility of something better to happen.
PEMA: Yes. When you’re triggered and you take those conscious breaths, you begin to understand that if you keep talking to yourself, you’re fueling the triggered feeling. That feeling comes with an undertow; you’re going to get swept away again and end up with the same result.
OPRAH: But if you pause and breathe, you open the door to bring something new in.
PEMA: Yes. And you open yourself up to infinite possibilities.
Top 10 Quotes From Elon Musk’s Genius
Regardless of whether we’re discussing on the web instalments, science, innovation or space travel, the name Elon Musk should fly up in your psyche.
Alluded to as the Nikola Tesla of our age, Elon Musk is a business person, business head honcho, speculator, designer, and innovator. This person unquestionably knows his way with cash. He turned into a multimillionaire in his late 20s when he sold his first new business, Zip2.
The founder of SolarCity, Tesla, and SpaceX trusts in humankind and needs to change the world, and this isn’t merely pie in the sky considering. The man is really taking a shot at lessening an unnatural weather change and building up a human settlement on Mars to forestall human elimination. What more verification do you have to trust that all that you decided is conceivable?
Here are 11 Elon Musk quotes to influence you to begin taking a shot at your fantasies, regardless of how unimaginable they may appear to be at present.
When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.
It is possible for ordinary people to choose to be extraordinary.
The first step is to establish that something is possible then probability will occur.
Patience is a virtue, and I’m learning patience. It’s a tough lesson.
I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.
Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is disaster.
If you get up in the morning and think the future is going to be better, it is a bright day. Otherwise, it’s not.
Life is too short for long-term grudges.
I take the position that I’m always to some degree wrong, and the aspiration is to be less wrong.
People should pursue what they’re passionate about. That will make them happier than pretty much anything else.
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Top 5 Things We Picked From Cristiano Ronaldo’s Interview
Cristiano Ronaldo has opened up about his life in his most cosy meeting to date with The Players’ Tribune.
The Real Madrid forward talks about everything from his first football memory, to his most significant minute in the game, and each inclination he had in the middle.
He additionally discusses his family, the two his folks who helped him achieve the highest point of the diversion, and his child, who helped him value the most important things throughout everyday life.
Underneath we have select five intriguing applies from the long meeting – 5 things you’ll certainly be intrigued to find out about the Portuguese.
Ronaldo played football on the roads… among cars.
Each adolescent has a type of memory of playing on concrete, regardless of whether it’s merely booting a ball against a check.
In any case, as indicated by future four-time Ballon d’Or champ Ronaldo, he used to play in the street, while autos were driving past. Thank the ruler there were no mishaps, eh?
He wasn’t prepared to leave home and battled at Sporting Lisbon.
Ronaldo appears to be the most satisfied person on the planet, yet at 11 years old he didn’t feel prepared to leave home for the Portuguese capital.
As per the man himself he battled at the Sporting Lisbon institute and was exceptionally achy to visit the family, just observing his folks once like clockwork. Luckily he stuck it out, and things showed signs of improvement.
He understood he was unique at the Academy.
It likely didn’t come as a lot of disclosure, considering the reality he would go ahead to end up the best player on the planet. However, Ronaldo can pinpoint the minute he knew he was extraordinary.
He’d show signs of improvement of his partners in preparing and was regularly lauded for his capacity. So, he conceded he was worried about being too little.
Turning into a father at Real Madrid made his chance at club additional exceptional.
It must be truly unique to advance out onto the pitch wearing the all-white Real Madrid strip and having the capacity to tell the world you’re a Los Blancos player.
Be that as it may, as indicated by Ronaldo, this has all been made additional unique by the reality he fathered his child while at the club, which he concedes changed his point of view.
Holding hands and strolling with child is his most memorable moment
Strolling as an inseparable unit with his child in Cardiff is his most loved memory.
All through the meeting, Ronaldo talks gladly about every one of the trophies he has won in his profession, however, concedes they implied more to him when he was more youthful.
Today he views his most loving memory as strolling around the pitch at Cardiff clasping hands with his young child after winning the Champions League. Favour.
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Disclaimer: All images are sourced from the web. No copyright infringement intended.
DAVID BAILEY SAYS: “HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CROSS THE ROAD?”
Mr. Bailey, would you swear in front of the Queen?
No, if you’re going to accept the Queen you have to accept the tradition. You know, I’ve got nothing against the monarchy. I think there are too many hangers-on, but that’s also a cliché thing to say. I doubt she’d be too shocked. She’s been around; she’s not stupid.
You recently took the official photo for her 88th birthday.
Yes and I think she looks incredible for 88. I had never photographed her before.
I wouldn’t photograph anybody if they only give you five minutes. I don’t care who it is. I don’t care if God phoned me up and said, “I want a picture, I’ve only got five minutes.” I’d say, “Well, work some of your magic and make it longer!” Even though I’m actually quicker than most and I usually get bored before they get bored.
What kind of people are the most difficult to photograph?
Lots of politicians are so full of themselves. Sports people too a bit. But actors are the most difficult because you never know who you’re photographing. They could be Hamlet or Lassie. But the fewer people they come with, the more interesting they usually are. Johnny Depp came with nobody so I knew it was going to be all right. Jack Nicholson never came with anybody, but Jack’s different because I’ve known him for so long.
You once said Jack Nicholson is the smartest actor because he knows something nobody else does. What is it that he knows?
I don’t fucking know. If I knew, I’d be as smart as him. (Laughs)
One of the things that fascinated me when I met him was his grin and the sparkle in his eye when he talked about women.
Yeah, with Viagra. He’s the first person that told me about Viagra.
When was that?
Oh, years ago. Before everyone knew about it! (Laughs)
“Actors are the most difficult because you never know who you’re photographing. They could be Hamlet or Lassie.”
When you know someone very well like you do Jack Nicholson is it easier to take a great portrait of them?
It depends. It’s one of those abstract things. We had a difficult bloke this week, what was he called? Van Morris or somebody… He was so grumpy. But I loved him being grumpy because I could use his grumpiness. I got a great grumpy picture out of him. If I see another picture of a rock ‘n’ roller against some graffiti… It drives you mad, the same old picture! Can’t they ever think of something different to do? So I don’t mind people that are difficult. I quite like that. It amuses me because there is always a way around it. I mean, no one could be more difficult than Van whatever he’s called, Van Morrison.
It seems pointless to have your picture taken if you’re not going to cooperate though.
Well he left really happy, Van Morrison. But it is kind of pointless to come here if you’re not going to help me. They might not like the picture, but one day they will. One day that’s what they’re going to look like – whether they look like that or not. Medici said to Michelangelo, “That sculpture doesn’t look like me.” Michelangelo said, “Listen, you’ll be dead in 20 years, but this will be around for 2,000 years. So, that’s what you look like!” You could say that a bit with photography.
Does it often happen that people aren’t happy with their portrait, but then years later change their mind?
Yeah. 10 years later usually. We had one recently, I won’t mention his name, I shot him 30 years ago and he said, “I hate the picture.” But his wife bought one for him as a birthday present recently. (Laughs) 30 years later and come get the picture.
Are celebrities more difficult nowadays than they were 30 or 40 years ago?
Well, I avoid celebrities. I’m not really interested in people that come with PR. That’s probably why I can’t work in America, because I don’t take all that bullshit. I don’t know how people like Bruce Weber manage, because it would drive me mad. All these silly people who don’t know anything that come with celebrities and try to tell you what to do. It’s madness! They brought it on themselves, the magazines. They should have been stricter. They should have said, “No, we’re not showing you. We’re doing the interview and that’s that.” But instead they pander to them and in the end they end up owning you. Those magazines are owned by the celebrities, really.
You don’t strike me as the type to pander to anyone.
I never really read what people write about me, but the comments people made when doing this exhibition recently at the National Portrait Gallery are so stupid. “Oh, Bailey panders to these people.” I don’t pander to anybody. I just do the picture I do. I don’t care who it is. And I won’t do pictures if people want approval. It has always seemed stupid to me that they ask you to do something and then want to sort of tell you how to do it. What madness!
Source: The Talk
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